Sexual Health Expert Destiny Lopez – “Will Sex Ever Become Enjoyable For Me?”

QUESTION: Hi. My question is this. At what age does sex become enjoyable? lol. I’m 19 and have been having sex since I was 16. I’ve been with 4 guys and it’s never really been enjoyable for me. I knew the first and second time I probably wouldn’t enjoy it but the 3rd and 4th? Is there something wrong with me? All my friends say how great sex is but for me it’s kind of like whatever. Will it get better? It has to! Help!

DESTINY’S ADVICE: There’s no magical age when sex may become more enjoyable, but many people do find that it gets better with time. How much time is different for everyone. A lot depends on how well partners communicate with each other. Every person’s body responds differently to various kinds of sexual stimulation, and every person has different preferences for how she or he likes to be touched. Since our partners can’t read our minds, it’s important to be clear about what feels good and what doesn’t, and what we want to do and don’t want to do. So you may find that if you’re with someone that you feel very comfortable and open with, you may enjoy sex more.

You may also find that sex becomes more pleasurable as you get older because you have more knowledge of what is pleasing to you sexually, and because you’re more comfortable communicating with your partners about what you like and don’t like sexually. For some women, masturbation can be a key to sexual health and pleasure. They find that by discovering what kinds of touch and sensations work for them, they’re better able to communicate with their partners about what they like and don’t like.

And don’t forget to protect yourself against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Knowing that you’re taking steps to protect yourself can also help you relax and enjoy sex more.

Suerte, and here’s to your continued good sexual health.

Destiny Lopez

Director of Latino Engagement for Planned Parenthood Federation of America

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