“Heartbroken But Trying To Stay Strong” (A Guest Blog From Perla)

I’m currently 18-years-old and fifteen weeks pregnant. Not too far along, I know. My story basically is that I was dating a guy I met almost a year ago. Now here I am pregnant by him. We broke up so many times and I kept listening to my heart instead of my mind. I knew how many times he cheated on me. He even got another girl’s name tattooed on his arm. I was never enough for him no matter what I did.

Anyway, this year on April 1st I found out I was pregnant. The thing is, though, a young girl he messed with is also pregnant. Her parents have threatened to have him arrested should he mess with her again. But that’s not stopping him because he is still with her. This girl has harrassed me and made my life miserable. Now she’s having the same thing done to her by the girl whose name he tattooed on his arm. I’m so miserable at this point. My life seems like a blur. I keep trying to figure out how I’m gonna deal with this. I dont know how to do this alone. I find myself feeling very emotional at times. He plays too many games with my heart. While he was with this young girl, he kept saying he needed me and wanted me desperately, so I gave myself to him a few weeks ago thinking they would never get back together. Lo and behold, less than a week later I get a random IM from the girl apologizing to me and all this stuff. Now she is back with him. It’s like just as I am getting over him, he comes back into my life. I don’t know what to do. Why is my heart so weak for him? Will I ever get back to normal?

I am loving the fact that I decided to keep my baby because here I’ve got a young life that will depend on me. But this wasn’t my wish. This wasn’t what I wanted. Now I feel even more like damaged goods. At first when he and I met, everything was good. Even when I got pregnant last year and miscarried, he was there for me. Although we weren’t together, he told me that no matter what happens I’d always be his baby’s mom and we would always be number one, me and his child. What happened to that guy, though? I used to think I could change him but I know now that I cant. I just want to get over him and let him not have this hold on me anymore. I’m done for good with him. I just wish I would stop having all these dreams at night of us still being together. Any advice on what to do to get over him would be deeply appreciated. Thank you so much for listening to my long story.