The day I officially gave up on men all together, the day I suspended the eternal search for that perfect man, on that same exact day I met the man who was going to change my life forever. He approached me as a friend, he listened to my frustrations (strategically!) and he gave me the time to notice that his intentions were good. Three years later we are still together and I love him intensely, just like the first day we kissed. He has proven to me that he is capable of handling the responsibilities of raising somebody else’s child even though he doesn’t have any of his own. He has proven to me that he is a better man than all the ones in my past; and God showed me that all the deceptions and heartbreaks were, one by one, all worth it. My daughter loves him and he adores her back. I love him and I thank God for him every day.
Shaking my head and waking myself up and out of my daydream of memories, I smile once again knowing that I am in control of my mind. Both the trust on my right shoulder and the fear on my left shoulder have finally stopped fighting. I am at peace with myself because, at 30-years-old, I have finally come to realize that right now I am exactly where God intended for me to be. Happiness and sadness, pain and hope, heartbreak and love. It was all meant to be. It has all made me stronger. It has all made me the superwoman that I am today. All the bad memories in my head, all the cracks in my heart, they were all there for a reason. And that reason is experience for the future to do the right thing. Life is a blessing because you never get what you expect out of it. However, what you get might be much better than your expectations. I have many animal allergies so the vet thing would have never worked out. I would probably be buried in student loans right now and near (or at) bankruptcy. Me getting married at 24 would have most definitely ended up in divorce considering what a stubborn child I was. The worst thing for me would be to try and find the right man, being divorced and with 2 kids! Ha-ha! It’s amazing how what at one moment might seem like a failure makes perfect sense down the line if you give it time.
I’m 30 you guys. I made it in one piece, albeit with some wounds, stretch marks, scars, wrinkles and self-inflicted illnesses by my side. I never imagined my life past 30 as a child. Not even as a teenager, almost as if I assumed it was going to end there. Or maybe because I somehow sensed the whole 2012 end of the world/Mayan calendar thing as a child! Ha-ha! Never mind. Scratch that! But honestly, and as my amazing friend Theoni reminded me, this is only the beginning! The beginning of my life as an adult and as a newly improved woman. So I raise my glass with all of you to at least 50 more years, realistically speaking, so as long as I get to see my child grow up and fulfill her dreams and as long as I get to tell my grandchildren stories about the younger years.
I dedicate this one to Maryvette for being my reason to live, my reason to keep going, my reason to smile every day and my biggest inspiration in life. You are mami’s little princess and every day with you is nothing but the best.
I dedicate this one to Mami for being the most wonderful, loving, pain in the butt mother anybody could have. I know we bicker too much but having you has been my salvation.
I dedicate this one to Papi, for teaching me the values of life and learning from my mistakes, and how much I have. I miss you so much but I am thankful that I was able to spend my youth and early years with you by my side.
I dedicate this one to Yani for warming my heart with your presence throughout the years and for being the most wonderful sister in the world. I still look up to you like in that early 80’s picture we have together.
I dedicate this one to Corey for showing me that the word “love” still has a meaning and that I can open my heart without being hurt. Thank you for being the man that you are. I love you with all that I have.
I dedicate this one to Maria Luisa for having my back from the beginning (although so far away), for being my rock and my best friend through all these years of change. For never changing and always being who you are: my sister and half of me.
I dedicate this one to Theoni for caring about me when everybody else turned their back, for fighting for me even though the battle was a loss (and better yet a blessing in disguise), for keeping me laughing and cautious at the same time. You, my dear, have grown deep in my heart and will stay there; you will always be my wifey!
I dedicate this one to Corinne because regardless what people might say or think, I do have high hopes for you and I have taken you under my wing as my own. I want the best for you and I want to help you. Count on me and I will help you rise. I trust you, I believe in you!
I dedicate this one to my WF’s for being the most amazing, crazy and fabulous women I know, for helping me through some of the roughest times in my life. The variety I have with all of you is incredible and fascinating and I love all of you so much!
And I dedicate this one to you. Cheers my friends! And may all of you feel as complete as I do right this very instant!