"Se Pusieron De Acuerdo” (Patrisia's Blog)

I am filled with many different types of emotions in my life right now. I’m super happy and filled with love but at the same time I am sad, angry and disappointed. My son’s father (whom my son greatly admires) is having a baby and I’m crushed by seeing the effect it’s having on my son (Y cuando digo admired, sadly it’s only by my son).

Anyway, my son is 13. He loves spending time with his dad porque his dad really pays attention to him. But my son is the only one like that with him. Our daughter, who is 10, seems to have lost all love for her dad. She doesn’t like going to his house and she says that he doesn’t care about her as much as he does our oldest. I can’t make her go to her dad’s house at all. With my oldest, his father always seemed to buy his love and attention with gifts…things I can’t afford.

But now he’s having a baby. A week ago my oldest son was in tears and so sentido, and when I asked him what was wrong he kept on saying nothing. He finally opened up to me and said, “I was thinking about my dad and I was wondering if my dad was still going to love me after he has the other baby.” This broke my heart! I never imagined that he would get so worried about that. Yo le dije, “Look, your dad is going to love you regardless. You already know that he has another kid, and to him you will always be his efectivo.” That gave him some type of comfort and he fell asleep.

About a week ago I went to drop off my youngest with his dad, after 4 months of not seeing him. I have a really nice friendship with my baby daddy’s live in girlfriend. When my baby daddy came to receive my son, his girlfriend came up to me and told me, “OMG, I think I’m 5 months pregnant.” I turned to look at my son’s dad and just shook my head.

See, it doesn’t bother me that they have kids. What bothers me is that both of my baby daddies are having kids when neither of them provide for mine. My kids have always been a second priority in their lives. They don’t know if my kids eat, or if they have food, shoes, clothes, etc. They don’t know if my kids are sick, sad, mad, or how their new babies are making my kids act out. I don’t have to worry about any more kids because I can’t have any more, so all my attention goes to my three. I may not give them brand name clothes or shoes, or have them with the latest games or toys but, hey, they have clothes, shoes, beds, food and a roof over their heads. Y todo a sido by myself because both of my baby daddies have been unemployed and wouldn’t even help me with $10. So I have this to say to all the dads that have kids that don’t live with them: Before you guys go out and have more kids, please keep in mind that every child needs to be dressed and fed but, more importantly, they need to be loved equally. Just because no vivan con ustedes dosen’t mean they deserve less or need you less. Think about how bringing more kids into your life will hurt and effect them, knowing that they only count with a weekend dad.

We single moms take a lot of pride in our role because, regardless of anything, we stick by our kids through everything. We provide for their needs even though we sometimes get judged for having more than one baby daddy. Instead of people saying, “Look, that’s a really strong woman,” we get pointed at and called ugly names. Well, let me just say this to all those baby daddies that have called the mothers of their children bitches: When you guys were out there making these babies, thanks to those “bitches” your kids are still willing to give your no-good selves the love that they receive from us. We still tell our kids to love and respect you guys even though many of you don’t deserve it.

So think twice before you go out and leave your kids to wonder if you still love them!

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