"What Do You Do?" (Crystal R's Blog)

I am at such a crossroads: I have a sister who lives in the same city as me, like 15 minutes away. The guy she’s with (they are broken up but still live together) is a loser who can’t get a real job; he works at a roofing company but it’s all “under the table.” To make matters worse, they have a one-year-old daughter in all the mess that’s going on. They recently lost a nice apartment that had 3 bedrooms, and was very spacious with a basement that had a washer and dryer. Now they live in a very crappy neighborhood. For example, some guy got his head split just walking to the store. Their new apartment has 2 bedrooms and is very small. And since he hasn’t been working, my sister has had to ask my other sister, my mother and me (I don’t work due to disabilities and my husband is the only one working; he supports four people) for money to pay her phone bill, buy the baby diapers, get food and drinks in her house, etc. Now that she and the baby’s father are broken up it’s worse. The agreement they had was he would still pay the bills until she got a job, as long as she kept him on the insurance she has through the state. Well, obviously he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain if she’s still asking us for money. Things were so bad that she called my mom and got my mom upset. My dad ended up calling me and asking about the situation and what was going on. After thinking about it, my dad decided to let her move to Florida with them. However, my sister said “no” and told him she was going to stay in Ohio.

My sister’s situation has only escalated. Her ex refuses to help pay the bills unless she has sex with him. I know how all that feels because my ex-husband tried the same mess with me. But I just think she needs to hit rock bottom so she can pick herself up and get her life together. My dad has done it before and I have done it a few times, too, with having two children. My sister has never had to survive on her own with a child. Ever since she got her first two kids taken away from her, she has always managed to get some loser to take care of her. Now she has a child and needs money again for her phone bill and, of course, she asked me. My husband and I had a big discussion about this. I just don’t know what to do. I know helping her isn’t doing anything but she does need a phone. I’m just scared that if things keep on going the way they are that she’s going to lose this baby, too. But, she is my sister. My heart is broken in two and I just don’t know what I should do.

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