Well here I am, sitting in the parking lot of a coffee shop, feeling super sleepy. As you guys know I recently moved into a gorgeous house with a huge yard, and all has been going really well. There’s just one problem that clouds my mind, makes my heart hurt…an issue I really don’t understand.
See, my parents have been married for over 40 years. I’ve been told that my dad made my mom suffer very much over the years. I’ve heard stories of the times my dad put his hands on her and made her feel worthless. Stories of when he cheated on her. I’m not saying what he did was right, I just know that my mom also made a bad choice when she decided to run away with him…just 2 hours after meeting him.
See, my dad is unemployed and has been for many years. But he sells the best mariscos anyone has ever tasted. Before my mom worked we use to sell Mariscos with my dad out of our old garage. Believe it or not he used to make como mil dolares el sabado y el domingo. It was on and popping and we had it good. My dad would take my mom out to eat or out shopping, built a house in Nayarit, Mexico, purchased all kinds of jewelry, and every year se ivan de vacasiones a Mexico. My dad even used to cook for all my extended family. We were like 15 people deep, y todo salia de su pocket, not because he had to but because my dad just loved to cook. Pero una vez they were de vacasiones cuando el Parole de mi brother came searching for him, saw our little changarro and made us shut it down. My dad’s clients, little by little, se fueron porque he didn’t sell for a couple of months. All the money they’d made they had wasted. So that’s when my mom went job searching and luckily she found one.
My mom is a very beautiful lady who I love with all my heart. I thank God for blessing me with her (actually with both my parents). However, this is what I don’t get: my mom got her a job where God has blessed her tremendously and now that she sees herself as more independent todo lo de mi papa le molesta suddenly bothers her. To this day, my dad has never gotten back to the point he used to be at financially. El se desespera and turned to alcohol. But he still makes his little money. Pero ellos don’t ever communicate that his money is his and her money is hers. Two months ago su residencia se le iva a vencer and, even though it’s because of my father that my mom and older sisters have their papers, my mom wasn’t willing to pay this time for him. So that kind of bugged me. Yo no se como pero Gracias a Dios yo pude pagar para que la renovara. My mom sometimes tells me, “I’m so tired of your dad. I can’t tolerate living with him anymore!”
I mean, helloooo! He’s my dad! I think to myself, why now? How come now that he’s old and doesn’t have family here. Why not before when he used to hit her. When he used to cheat on her. When he was actually mean! Now everything bugs her but I think it’s because she’s now financially independent and knows she can do it by herself. But see, my dad drives my brother to school daily and gives him from $5 to $10 every day. Of course, gas money comes from him, too. My point is that I don’t know what to say to mi mama! I don’t want to see my dad alone but I want to see both of my parents happy with each other. All I say is, “Where is the communication?” How come older people don’t seem to have that? Is it pride or are they simply hard headed?
Should they continue to try to work things out and improve their communication or are they each too old to change their ways? Or is it even my place to get involved?
(Everyday Thoughts – Patrisia’s Blog #7)